It’s not just you. Everyone’s struggling right now.
Why am I so tired? a friend recently asked on Facebook. The answers she got were supportive, with many of her friends saying I feel seen or me too. Some offered words of encouragement:
Too busy being awesome?
Because you are amazing and work your butt off.
Because you’re a mom. Duh. 😀
But many pointed out that the real problem is the world. The world is inherently exhausting right now! One read simply: pandemic fatigue. Another said: It’s hard to tell anymore. 😆
Still others waxed more eloquent, making me smile:
because the general belief that humanity is capable of rising up to meet any challenge is being tested to its limits and the resultant inevitable and inescapable ennui is a hole in the bottom of the barrels of your confidence and sense of self.
No? Maybe I am just projecting.
The one that made me laugh out loud was another simple response:
Gestures at everything
It’s the pandemic…and so much more.
Lately, when I talk to people close to my age, I’m struck by how many of them are falling apart—or at the very least, feeling exhausted and brittle. This is especially true with those in “helping” professions.
Doctors and nurses and other health workers are hitting a wall, grappling with moral injury and compassion fatigue as they witness the preventable deaths of so many people who refuse to get vaccinated. Teachers are juggling impossible workloads and feel like their brains are broken. Therapists report that all their clients have been in crisis for the past year, and that they (the therapists) are overwhelmed after such an emotional burden for so long. And parents are perpetually strung out.
Another common refrain I hear is a sense of failure. When you care, when you’re used to helping, it’s so hard not to be able to help. I hear many people questioning their career choices, thinking of quitting, and wondering if their failures are somehow their fault.
But as I listen to them all, it’s clear to me that this isn’t any failure on their part. It’s the pandemic! When literally everyone in the world has been this stressed for this long, it’s no wonder things are fraying at the seams. “Gestures at everything” is right on.
And also, it’s even more than the pandemic.
I recently shook my head as I scrolled backwards on this politics blog, looking through my post titles in reverse-chronological order. It’s unbelievable what we’ve been through over the past year-and-a-half.
I never even wrote about our most recent traumas: the current pandemic surge caused by the delta variant, the devastating aftermath of our withdrawal from Afghanistan, and the various heat waves and other natural disasters related to climate change this year. But in my posts, I do see the January 6th insurrection. Before that, I see Trump’s disinformation and attempts to overturn the election. Further back still are posts about the stress of the election itself, the wildfires that ripped through the West last September, the protests and riots that took place in many cities in the summer, and the trauma of police violence towards George Floyd and Jacob Blake. And all of that happened with the backdrop of a global pandemic.
Finally, I arrived at the onset of the pandemic…but when I kept scrolling, I only saw more stress.
My last post before COVID hit was on February 9, 2020. The post was long and heart-wrenching and angry. I was responding to Trump’s first impeachment and the lies he and others told about it, and I wrote that I was filled with despair.
Many of us were already traumatized when COVID hit. Already, back then, we badly needed a break from stress.
Be kind and gentle with yourself.
So, this is a tough time. I know that’s obvious, but it’s been going on so long that we sometimes forget just how hard it still is, and just how long it’s been hard. Maybe you’ve been feeling frazzled like so many others. If so, above all, I hope you’ll be kind to yourself.
Now is a great time to let go of perfectionism and people-pleasing. Recognize that you’re doing the best you can, and tell yourself you’re doing a good job. You are! Even if it doesn’t feel like it. 🙂
I also recommend making every effort to practice self-care. As a chronically ill person, I know the toll constant stress takes on our health. When we spend weeks or months feeling frenzied and embattled, it sends too much adrenaline and cortisol pumping through our bodies. We need to come down from these stress hormones to stay healthy.
Unfortunately, when we’re strung out, we also start making poor choices about self-care—our fried brains have trouble with impulse control. We start eating more junk food, drinking more caffeine and alcohol, and choosing stimulation instead of nurturing, right when we most need the opposite.
Because it’s harder to make good choices when we’re stressed, it’s best to build self-care into our lives so we’ll be able to do it without thinking much. This might mean taking a daily walk at the same time each day, designating time for mindfulness or prayer practices, or programming soothing music into devices. However possible, try to make it easy and simple to nurture yourself.
In my blog about living with chronic illness, I’ve written a few posts about practices I find nourishing. One has a list of my favorite mindfulness practices. Another is about the healing power of fiction.
And I’m posting a third one today: Simple, Calming Practices You Can Do Anywhere. For working people especially, this is my collection of quick, simple ways to calm the nervous system, no matter where you are or who you’re with.
One way or another, prioritize taking care of yourself. For one thing, self-care is a service to the world—only by keeping ourselves well can we be there for others. But more importantly, you deserve it! 🙂
